Live Life Laksh Size: July 2019

A loooonnnggg post full of pictures alert.

This post was pending since a very very long time. On your second birthday today, I am finally posting this.

Being an aunt is a feeling that I believe is like being a mother minus giving birth. Also, I can love Raavya and Laksh to my heart's content and no one has the right to stop me.

Every time I visited a mall or a market I used spill out my savings and buy things that were not necessary. I still do that but now it is mostly for these two angels in my life. The only thing that I hate about them is that they are not with me always. When Raavya was born I was overjoyed, I wanted to see here asap but as I was busy in a shoot for an outdoor schedule. I reached there as soon as possible.

I was suddenly the grown up in the house. I was not the youngest one in the family anymore. Then one fine day I get a delightful text from my brother and sister in law that I am going to be an aunt again.

I felt the same rush that I felt two years ago when I learnt about my sister's pregnancy. I told them not to tell me the gender until the baby is born. No one told me for a week or so. And then my niece Raavya very innocently broke the news that she is waiting eagerly for her baby brother. It was hilarious. I obviously shopped like a crazy shopaholic (btw that is not crazy in my dictionary). Someone rightly said that an aunt is a cherished friend and personal cheerleader who will always see you through rose colored glasses.

I remember reaching New York with mum almost a month before you were supposed to be there for you to come to this world and meet us. Bhabhi (my Sister in law, Smriti, Laksh’s proud mother) used to share her pregnancy pictures with us. And those pictures made me more and more anxious and impatient to meet you.

When we saw Bhaiya (my brother, Avijeet, Laksh’s proud father) and Bhabhi at JFK airport on 30^th July 2017, it was as if I was woken up to be in my dream. This was such a complex feeling that I can’t even explain. I am not very good when it comes to express my feelings. I am not very good to let my feelings talk. The same thing happened then. Seeing my brother and sister in law after years and being on my first international trip to meet my nephew was too overwhelming. The mixture of all those feelings made the time to come to a standstill when I saw that baby bump at the airport. It was not a dream, it was the reality. I was to become an aunt again. I was already an aunt to a beautiful niece, Raavya. So being given the opportunity to spoil one more child with love and many more mischievous activities to be taught was super exciting.

Raavya made me a Mausi (Maternal aunt) and you made me a Bua (Paternal aunt). I am equally proud of both my titles.

D day. 1^st August 2017. My mother asked him if Bhabhi was ok. He nodded in yes and said that he wanted to speak to dad. He made a video call to him and again with tears of joy told my dad that he was a grand dad now. My sister was with dad at the time and she and Raavya were shouting with happiness. My Jiju (Brother-in law) was also waiting eagerly for this news that left him super happy. His firsst reaction was 'My son is here.' Finally, it was my turn. He hugged me while I congratulated all of us and he rushed back to the delivery room.

My brother called me and asked me to rush to the hospital asap with mum as Bhabhi was being taken to the delivery room. We rushed there and found out that Bhabhi was already taken in and being prepped for c section. Bhaiya came and showed us to the room and we started waiting. Those were the longest 20 minutes of my life. My brother came back and said nothing and hugged mum. He had an expression on his face that I had never seen before. He cried with happiness. He announced that his son has arrived.

Now comes the part when the bigger news bomb was dropped. Bhaiya came back and said that Laksh was being brought to the room and Bhabhi will come in minutes later. Bhaiya now told us that the doctor’s said that the baby has Down syndrome. We informed the families back home. I was almost completely unaware of this term. So, my first instinct was to ask him what it was and the second was to search the web. I read a few lines about it on web and scolded myself for being absorbed in that. But I said, ‘whateva, who cares’ he is my family. And the baby was brought to room.

Oh, what a sight! My little nephew looking as red as a tomato was here. My heart was filled up with so many emotions and throat choked up. After Bhabhi came to the room, I congratulated her on being a mother. She was trembling with post operatic trauma but couldn’t hold in the joy and the confusion of the news bomb.

After mum I finally got the chance to hold you in my arms.

I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful it was. All I could think was I am your Bua and I am going to shower you with so much love.

The calls to the families started with calling our families with the news. Bhaiya, finally after a long pause and build up announced your name. LAKSH KUMAR.

I remember seeing a hole between the clouds and posting that picture on my social media with a caption ‘#clouds giving way to the stork carrying my nephew.” I know it’s a lame caption but it’s ok coz I was just overwhelmed with love.

The discussion about Down syndrome started. My brother spoke to dad about it and he was pretty calm about it. He said “everything can be tackled with patience and life for Laksh will not stop at being a Down syndrome kid. This can be dealt later. Savour these moments right now and deal with the things that can’t be changed later.” My sister, being a doctor her first instinct was to explain us about Down syndrome in layman terms. My mother was in denial. But was not giving it much importance because she was busy admiring Laksh. We have shared many firsts during the first five months of your life.

Baking my first proper cake for you.
Visiting many places with you for the first time.
My first international trip for you.
Our first snow
Holding a few minutes old child for the first time.
Seeing a new side of my brother for the first time.

Frankly, till date I have not been very much worried about the Down syndrome factor. So, what you will not be able to do few things that I or someone else can. But the fact is that no ne of us can love others as unconditionally as you. None of us can enjoy little moments of joy with a smile like yours. None of us have the strength of going through the kinds of surgeries you have gone through and heal with that wonderful full of life smile. We cannot love others in the unbiased manner like you. We do not make the world a happier place like you. We don’t natural spread smiles on the people around us like you do. We don’t have people going ‘awww’ over us. You make our lives fuller with love, compassion, joy and smiles.

I can’t remember other milestones of my life before you and Raavya in such a detailed manner. You and Raavya give meaning to my life. Both of you are the two apples of my eyes. I love you both so much. A shopaholic like me has stopped buying things for myself and I keep shopping for you two.

I want you to know that yes, there will be some people who will treat you differently. But you have a family who will stand by you on every step of the way, no matter what. We will always be there for you. The blood bond that a family share is incomparable. The families fight but they also love each other more than anything else. So what you have an extra chromosome. Only a few chosen ones have those. You are lucky. I am super proud of Bhaiya and Bhabhi for the way they are raising you.

I am not writing any awareness notes here as that department is very well handled by your parents but believe me when I say this that you are a part of us and no one can change that. Different or same, we don’t care. You are an important part of our lives and no one can change that. We love you Laksh.

P.S : I love you and Raavya the most ;) and miss you guys every single day. I would go beyond my reach for both of you. I love you guys to the moon and back. Why just the moon! I love you guys till beyond the universe and back. ( I don’t care, if that doesn’t make sense at all.)

Here are some pictures of us.